So you have a rough idea in your head of what planning a wedding entails, and you can read all the advice articles you want…but there’s some elements of planning that no one mentions. So I’m gonna do that now. And I’m gonna start with a big one, because it’s something we had no clue about, yet caused drama, and I think anyone planning a wedding needs to be aware of this! And number two is Ed’s most important lesson.
1. Traditions have changed
There are a lot of traditions that have changed in the 30 years since our parents got married. We had an issue with corsages (I know 🙄), which was purely down to both generations doing things their own way, assuming ‘that’s just how things are done’ and not realising the others’ idea of tradition was the complete opposite! So my advice would be to stay aware, discuss lots with your family/guests, just to make sure you’re all on the same page.
2. Share your burdens
“Stress can, and WILL sneak up on you. Be sure to share your burdens with your partner and not keep them bottled up. You’re marrying this person, they’re the most important person in your life – they, of all people, need to know if you’re struggling.”
3. Who arrives when
The guest list itself will probably be quite easy, and you’ll keep adding names to it for a few months (you’re bound to forget a couple of distant relations or make new friends that you’d like to have there). The tricky bit, is deciding who comes to what part of the day – particularly if you have a set amount of guests that you’ve agreed with your venue, and adding an extra head costs a lot of dolla! You’re just going to have to be ruthless (you’ll find your own way of doing this), but know it’s going to take a while to decide. Make sure you have a bottle of wine (or two!) handy…
4. It’s a nightmare trying to find a photographer
Not for any negative reason though, I might add. It’s just – your photos are the one thing that immortalise your wedding, the one reminder of the day, the only professional documentation you’ll have. And that comes with a lot of pressure, because you don’t just want to jump into something for the sake of it. You need to sit down with your fiance and have a chat about what kind of style you like, how much you’re willing to spend, and the kind of package you want. There are lots of wonderful photographers out there, and maybe some couples get lucky by stumbling across their perfect match straight away (remember, you’ve got to get on as well – you’ll be spending a lot of time with them!)…but it took us months to find Sugarbird. Worth the wait though 😉
5. You’ll be spoilt for choice with decor
Honestly, it won’t be a case of trying to find decor for your day that matches your theme, rather, you have to decide what NOT to have. You only have to type your colour sceme and ‘wedding’ into Pinterest to find THOUSANDS of ideas. Everything looks so gorgeous, there’ll be creative ideas you never thought of, and it’ll take you weeks (perhaps months!) to decide what you’re going to do, and how you’re going to do it.
6. Wedding Fayres will expose you to so many LOCAL suppliers
Which is amazing! We both grew up here, went to school here, met here, decided to move back here independently of each other (but at the same time) after a bit of adulting, bought our first house here, and Ed proposed here – we have such a special bond with our home town, we wanted to source and use as many local suppliers as possible for our wedding day. As well as loving supporting small businesses, it just felt right. And we wouldn’t have met all these lovely people were it not for our trip to the Sun Pavilions in Harrogate for the UK Wedding Event. We discovered our Favour suppliers there, who turned out to live just round the corner from us! Can’t get more local than that 🍬
7. You’ll be refreshing your email every 30 seconds
Whether it’s waiting for confirmation from a supplier, or the answer to a burning question, you’ll be refreshing your email so often it’s not even funny. And when you see an email coming in, the mini heart attack happens – it dies down again if it’s just spam, but then you’re back to square one! Waiting. Refreshing…
8. It’s easy for the budget to get out of control
No, SERIOUSLY. It’s so easy it’s not even funny. Set your budget, try to guestimate how much you’ll spend on each element, and keep an excel spreadsheet of how much you spend on every single thing you buy. It’s all well and good thinking of the big things like the dress/flowers/rings/cake etc, but if you don’t keep track of the placenames/confetti cones/passport name change/registrar fees – you’re going to find yourself in deep doo doo.
9. Whilst it’s your day, you want to keep your family happy – AND IT’S HARD
I’ve said it so many times before and I’ll say it again – it’s your big day, do what YOU want, don’t feel pressured into anything by anyone else. But that being said, obviously it’s natural to listen to wants/requests. It’s your family, you love them, and you want them to be happy, so if there’s a decision you’ve made that totally conflicts with a problem they have – it really is tricky. Out the other side of it, I still stick by my statement of ‘DO WHAT YOU WANT’, but just be aware that it’s hard. And try not to get ill from the stress like we did. Only a little bit bitter about that… 🙃
10. It’s stressful but you’ll feel SO MUSHY
I’ve never felt as 😍 and mushy and warm and fuzzy as when we were wedding planning (until we got married that is, the ice heart has officially thawed). It’s so exciting, so special, and you will ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. Yet no one says how magical it feels!
Did I spill the wedding tea a bit? I suppose I did! But they’re all points that I think any bride or groom needs to know. It’s such a MASSIVE part of your lives, it’s wonderful but it won’t be easy, and I don’t think you can ever know too much!