‘Adulting’ is a term I use frequently with my friends – sometimes sarcastically, sometimes seriously – but always with the slight disbelief that we’re ACTUALLY ADULTS, and not just moseying through life as our teenage… More
With my wedding series almost over, I thought it a good idea to write an etiquette post – for both wedding guests AND the happy couple (yep, there’s etiquette on both sides)! I’m sure in this day and age we’re all aware of the Do’s and Don’t’s…but it’s good to have a reminder…
If You’re the One
If a guest is married, it’s required by etiquette (yeh, required, that’s the word that articles use!) to invite the spouse. I had to google this one as I was sure it was a ‘thing’ and it definitely is, so make sure you invite the significant others.
Send thankyou cards
Obviously, you’d thank anyone who gave you a wedding gift, but don’t just send a text – finish off your wedding with a flourish and do it on paper or card – maybe even using the same design template as you did for the rest of your stationery!
Don’t invite someone to the hen/stag if they’re not coming to the wedding
Goes without saying really I think, but how much of a slap in the face would that be?!
Chat to your guests
Receiving lines aren’t really a part of new traditions, but make sure you get round to all your guests for a quick chat. As well as it just being polite, surely you WANT to see them all?!
If your wedding isn’t close to home (be that 30 minutes, or 300 miles), you need to provide your guests with information about accommodation (and transport, for that matter)! If your venue has rooms, great, if not, hit google and find some nearby hotels that you can note down on your information cards.
Don’t put registry info on the invitation
Your invitation is something special, you’re telling people that they’re loved so much that you want them there on your special day! It may be tempting to get all your information out there at the same time (and save on stamps too, it doesn’t half get expensive when you’re posting all your invites!), but now is not the time to start asking for gifts. Save that for later.
If You’re a Guest:
DON’T. WEAR. WHITE.
I can’t stress this enough. Even with a pattern on. There’s so many colours to choose from, please, just pick one of those. A bride would be totally within her rights to kick you out and never talk to you again if you turned up in white. I would’ve done had any of our guests turned up like that.
And by the same token, if you’re planning an outfit to stand out and make a statement, shame on you. Wear something nice, look gorgeous of course, but the couple has one day to themselves, one day as the centre of attention with family and friends around them – to attempt to stand out is selfish.
RSVP on time
The couple will have put an ‘RSVP by’ date on your invite. This is because they NEED TO KNOW BY THEN for a multitude of reasons, they haven’t just plucked it out of thin air. Don’t be the guest they have to chase: when it’s been made so clear, they won’t be your biggest fans for ignoring it.
Being a no show is a big no no! Weddings are expensive, and other people have missed out on the opportunity to be there because you RSVP’d yes. Unless you’re blown away to Oz in a tornado, you should be there.
Unless you’re the bride or groom, you’re a guest.
I’ve said it many times before, but weddings are mammoth tasks and very stressful. Unless you’re the ones getting married, you are a guest. Just smile sweetly, agree with everything that’s going on, don’t start questioning, grilling or making the couple feel guilty or obligated to do something (whether that’s during the planning or on the day itself) – it’s not your day, it’s theirs, and they’re doing what THEY want to do.
Turn your phone OFF
Particularly during the ceremony. The couple want you to be present with them in this special moment, not staring at them through a screen – if you’re interested in pictures, that’s what the photographer’s there for! Nothing will ruin a photo of the happy couple more than a sea of cameras and phones in the background.
Spell their names right
Whether it’s on a card or a personalised gift (especially the latter I suppose, when it’s likely to be more than a couple of quid), make sure the names are spelled right! It’s not a hard thing to double check, and it won’t be well received AT ALL if you get it wrong. Make sure you double check if you need to (with a family member or on Facebook, IT’S SO EASY so there’s no excuse)…otherwise, the gift/card you got will end up buried at the bottom of a box in the loft or in the bin, however nice it may have been! When it’s their wedding, I can guarantee it’ll be taken very personally. Anyone wanna guess if it happened to us…? 😂
Brides, Grooms, Guests – have you got all of that? Some of it sounds a little intense I know, but, I say it as it is, that’s me.
I’m pretty sure I’ve said it before, but I’ll say it again…there are SO many things involved with a wedding, so many more than you’d ever realise until you’re actually knee deep in table plans and decor spray painting! And there’ll be questions you need to know the answers to that never would have crossed your mind before. The point of this post is not to answer all these questions (I still don’t have answers to some of them!), but just point out some of the things you’ll want to research/ask your venue.
What happens with the confetti? 🌸
So, it’s arrived in a massive bag…how do we use it? Do I empty it into a big box and people grab a handful? Do I invest in confetti cones/baskets etc, and if so, how do guests get them?
Do I stand up with everyone during the speeches? 🥂
I’m the bride. People are toasting me. Is it rude if I stay sat down, or is it weird if I stand and effectively, toast myself? (I didn’t think about this until it was literally happening, I had no clue what I was supposed to do) 😳
Where do the bouquets go after the ceremony? 💐
I think each wedding will be different, but our coordinator suggested using my bouquet as decoration for the cake table. Which was lovely! I just hadn’t given my bouquet a second thought (past the ceremony) until a couple of weeks before the wedding.
Groom – Where do I look when I’m at the end of the aisle? 🤵
Straight forwards? To the bridesmaids and approaching bride? A bit of both? This is a question Ed asked before the wedding, but I think by the time it got to the day, there’s that much going on and emotions are so high, you don’t even have chance to worry about it!
When do I take my veil off? 👰
Immediately after the ceremony? After the photos? Before the evening do? Or leave it on all day? After lots of researching, it seems it’s one of those things that is down to each individual bride. So I just decided I’d take it off when I’d had enough of it. And that came after the speeches when we were tucking into the wedding breakfast, because it was making me warm and annoying my bare upper back.
What time does the sun set? ☀️
You want those gorgeous sunset pics? You’re going to need to know what time the sun sets. Make sure you find out and add it to your itinerary so you know when in the proceedings you need to slip away.
What happens with my engagement ring? 💍
The main answer to this question (when googling) seems to be to wear it on the other hand. Which is all well and good unless it doesn’t fit. I’ve got relatively thin fingers, so getting a ring over my knuckle is a struggle anyway, I wasn’t going to force it onto my right hand and get it stuck! So dad looked after it and I popped it on again after the ceremony.
How do I feed the photographer? 📸
Is he bringing a pack up, or do I need to find him a seat at the wedding breakfast? One I can’t answer and you’ll have to ask your venue, but we paid for ours to eat in the lounge bar next to the breakfast room.
Can we book our honeymoon in my married name? ✈️
Yes you can, because you can get a post dated passport. You’ll need a special application form, and a signed form from your officiant with details of your ceremony (don’t worry, it’s fairly straight forward). You won’t be able to use your new passport until you’re married, but once you ARE, you’re all set to jet off as Mr and Mrs.
And there’ll be plenty more that you’ll encounter during your wedding planning. Anyone else out there come across these kinds of ‘OMG I have no idea’ kind of surprise questions during their planning?
Okay, I’ve written quite a few wedding posts now, but I thought it was about time I shared my post important one. Unlike my other posts, this isn’t about the planning, or the run up, but tips for the actual day itself. And this post will reveal the top tips and suggestions I’d give to ANYONE getting married! So let’s dive right in…
Make Time in Your Itinerary for Each Other
This was one of the biggest pieces of advice we were given. Like, almost every person who wished us well said ‘Oooo you’ll never see each other’. To which we thought, SOD THAT! So, I wrote some ‘Bish time’ into our itinerary, to make sure we definitely had that time to spend together. And it was so easily done, so easy, I was surprised that so many people had struggled with it themselves! I suppose it’s one of those things that if you’re aware of it ahead of time, it’s easily manageable. We planned to get away a couple of times during the day, but actually managed it 5 or 6 times! And those moments as a newly married couple, amidst the chaos and business of the rest of the day are UTTERLY magical, and are such a special memory of our day that we both hold now.
Mingle, But Don’t Feel Bad About Moving On
There’s so many people you love there, you want to see them all and have a chat, and make sure you actually spend time with them. It’d be so easily done to spend 30 minutes talking to each person, but with so many wedding guests there, you really don’t have the time. Mingle, but don’t feel bad about moving on – people will understand!
Walk Slowly Up the Aisle
As with anything when adrenaline is involved, it’s very easy to speed up, and if you don’t think of it ahead of time, you’ll be next to your hubby/wifey to be within seconds! Ask whoever’s walking you down the aisle to set the pace, slow you down a bit if needs be (thankyou Dad!) and ENJOY that incredibly iconic moment.
Practice Holding Your Bouquet
You’ll want to hold it lower than you’d think! Some say to have the stems lined up with your belly button, but it’ll depend on the style of your bouquet and the design of your dress. So I ended up holding mine in line with my hip bones! It’s just one of those things that you wouldn’t think of, so here I am now to point it out 😊
Grooms – Don’t Lock Your Legs!
This one’s from Ed.
“Make sure not to lock your knees! If you lock them for too long, you risk passing out: not good on your wedding day. Remind yourself every now and then (or get your best man to do it like me!) to shake out or have a little knee bend to relieve the built up tension.”
Don’t Skip Brekkie
I know you’ll be a bag of nerves and excitement, and the idea of food might make you feel queezy…but you MUST eat something on your wedding morning. Whether it’s a bit of toast or a piece of fruit, just make sure there’s something in your system. You don’t want to spoil your day by feeling lightheaded or worse, faint!
Make the Effort To Eat
Following straight on from the last point, keep eating during the day. Again, so many people said ‘You won’t eat.’ And I just couldn’t understand this – when you pay so much per head for your wedding breakfast and/or buffet/hog roast etc, you had your menu tasting, and most importantly YOU LOVE TO EAT, why would you not eat?! I know this is a good time for the newly weds to walk around and talk to guests, but I’m pretty sure your guests would rather you eat and last the whole day, than attempt to talk to them and see you collapse the next minute from lack of nutrition 🙃 Screw tradition, eat the damn food!
Step Back and Survey
I saved a big one for last. A piece of advice we were given close to the big day, which we made sure we did, and are SO grateful for (thanks for the tip Mr Lunt)! This is probably the only time in your life when ALL of your dearly loved friends and family are in the same place, and they’re here because of the two of you – because they love you, they believe in your marriage and want to celebrate the most special day of your lives. Take a moment with your new spouse to step back, and just watch. Watch these people interacting, laughing, dancing, having an amazing time. It will be ingrained in your memory forever.
I urge anyone getting married to take on these tips, it really will help make your day special and drama free. Like the tips/insider info? I have similar posts here for Post Wedding Pointers and 10 Things No One Tells You About Planning a Wedding!
So you have a rough idea in your head of what planning a wedding entails, and you can read all the advice articles you want…but there’s some elements of planning that no one mentions. So I’m gonna do that now. And I’m gonna start with a big one, because it’s something we had no clue about, yet caused drama, and I think anyone planning a wedding needs to be aware of this! And number two is Ed’s most important lesson.
1. Traditions have changed
There are a lot of traditions that have changed in the 30 years since our parents got married. We had an issue with corsages (I know 🙄), which was purely down to both generations doing things their own way, assuming ‘that’s just how things are done’ and not realising the others’ idea of tradition was the complete opposite! So my advice would be to stay aware, discuss lots with your family/guests, just to make sure you’re all on the same page.
2. Share your burdens
“Stress can, and WILL sneak up on you. Be sure to share your burdens with your partner and not keep them bottled up. You’re marrying this person, they’re the most important person in your life – they, of all people, need to know if you’re struggling.”
3. Who arrives when
The guest list itself will probably be quite easy, and you’ll keep adding names to it for a few months (you’re bound to forget a couple of distant relations or make new friends that you’d like to have there). The tricky bit, is deciding who comes to what part of the day – particularly if you have a set amount of guests that you’ve agreed with your venue, and adding an extra head costs a lot of dolla! You’re just going to have to be ruthless (you’ll find your own way of doing this), but know it’s going to take a while to decide. Make sure you have a bottle of wine (or two!) handy…
4. It’s a nightmare trying to find a photographer
Not for any negative reason though, I might add. It’s just – your photos are the one thing that immortalise your wedding, the one reminder of the day, the only professional documentation you’ll have. And that comes with a lot of pressure, because you don’t just want to jump into something for the sake of it. You need to sit down with your fiance and have a chat about what kind of style you like, how much you’re willing to spend, and the kind of package you want. There are lots of wonderful photographers out there, and maybe some couples get lucky by stumbling across their perfect match straight away (remember, you’ve got to get on as well – you’ll be spending a lot of time with them!)…but it took us months to find Sugarbird. Worth the wait though 😉
5. You’ll be spoilt for choice with decor
Honestly, it won’t be a case of trying to find decor for your day that matches your theme, rather, you have to decide what NOT to have. You only have to type your colour sceme and ‘wedding’ into Pinterest to find THOUSANDS of ideas. Everything looks so gorgeous, there’ll be creative ideas you never thought of, and it’ll take you weeks (perhaps months!) to decide what you’re going to do, and how you’re going to do it.
6. Wedding Fayres will expose you to so many LOCAL suppliers
Which is amazing! We both grew up here, went to school here, met here, decided to move back here independently of each other (but at the same time) after a bit of adulting, bought our first house here, and Ed proposed here – we have such a special bond with our home town, we wanted to source and use as many local suppliers as possible for our wedding day. As well as loving supporting small businesses, it just felt right. And we wouldn’t have met all these lovely people were it not for our trip to the Sun Pavilions in Harrogate for the UK Wedding Event. We discovered our Favour suppliers there, who turned out to live just round the corner from us! Can’t get more local than that 🍬
7. You’ll be refreshing your email every 30 seconds
Whether it’s waiting for confirmation from a supplier, or the answer to a burning question, you’ll be refreshing your email so often it’s not even funny. And when you see an email coming in, the mini heart attack happens – it dies down again if it’s just spam, but then you’re back to square one! Waiting. Refreshing…
8. It’s easy for the budget to get out of control
No, SERIOUSLY. It’s so easy it’s not even funny. Set your budget, try to guestimate how much you’ll spend on each element, and keep an excel spreadsheet of how much you spend on every single thing you buy. It’s all well and good thinking of the big things like the dress/flowers/rings/cake etc, but if you don’t keep track of the placenames/confetti cones/passport name change/registrar fees – you’re going to find yourself in deep doo doo.
9. Whilst it’s your day, you want to keep your family happy – AND IT’S HARD
I’ve said it so many times before and I’ll say it again – it’s your big day, do what YOU want, don’t feel pressured into anything by anyone else. But that being said, obviously it’s natural to listen to wants/requests. It’s your family, you love them, and you want them to be happy, so if there’s a decision you’ve made that totally conflicts with a problem they have – it really is tricky. Out the other side of it, I still stick by my statement of ‘DO WHAT YOU WANT’, but just be aware that it’s hard. And try not to get ill from the stress like we did. Only a little bit bitter about that… 🙃
10. It’s stressful but you’ll feel SO MUSHY
I’ve never felt as 😍 and mushy and warm and fuzzy as when we were wedding planning (until we got married that is, the ice heart has officially thawed). It’s so exciting, so special, and you will ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT. Yet no one says how magical it feels!
Did I spill the wedding tea a bit? I suppose I did! But they’re all points that I think any bride or groom needs to know. It’s such a MASSIVE part of your lives, it’s wonderful but it won’t be easy, and I don’t think you can ever know too much!
I made the decision quite early on that I wanted to do my own wedding makeup, for a couple of reasons. I’ve spoken before about making a priority list when it comes to spending, and (personally) I couldn’t justify spending a couple of hundred on makeup (and hair) for me and my bridesmaids – I decided I’d rather spend the money elsewhere. So, I did some research, talked to some MUA friends, and made my Wedding Makeup Bag by myself.
And I’m really glad I did! I was happy with my makeup on the day, I still looked like myself, and I came across some life changing products that I’ve introduced into my regular makeup routine too! Winner winner! So, here we go.
Smashbox Photo Finish Primer
I’ve never spent this amount of money on makeup before, but I thought it was worth a go after a few glowing reviews from fellow bloggers. And oh my. It’s worth EVERY PENNY. It goes on gorgeously, makes your skin feel amazing, and since I started using it in January, have never had a problem with foundation going patchy or coming off easily. It’s nothing like any other primer I’ve used, and I’ll never use anything else again!
Max Factor Eyeshadow Primer
I hadn’t used eyeshadow primer before, so I don’t have anything to compare this to. But I used it, and my eyeshadow stayed on all day so…tick!
Barry M Green Concealer
You might not need it, but it’s one of those products you want with you, just in case! The green neutralises any red patches or angry spots, which is fab..just make sure to pop some concealer over the top before your foundation, you don’t want any green patches peeking through!
Collection Lasting Perfection Concealer
I struggled for years to find a concealer that was the same tone as my skin, so when I found ‘extra fair’, I was over the moon! Great coverage, it doesn’t leave me with orange patches on my skin, I love it!
Wunder 2 Last & Foundation
I’ve always struggled to find a good full coverage foundation that isn’t cakey but has really good staying ability. I’ve never had much confidence in my skin so have needed good coverage, but with all the dancing and sweating, I’ve needed something that will stay…so I’ve always been on the look out for ‘revolutionary’ products. I saw this advertised on Facebook a few months back, and thought I’d give it a go. And I’m so glad I did! It does all that I want it to, plus it doesn’t rub off onto clothes! The only negative is that the palest shade isn’t THAT fair, and only matches my neck when I have tan on, so I don’t use it all the time. BUT it was perfect for the wedding and I highly recommend it.
Revolution Cream Contour – Fair
Contour is new for me, so I went for this kit as it seems to be aimed at contour beginners. I’m sure there are other great kits out there, but this works great for me, and I’ve found it fairly easy to use. I love that it has a yellow cream in there too – perfect for battling those dark circles after sleepless nights! With my fair skin, I also use the lightest cream in here as highlighter…which works really well.
Rimmel Insta Fix & Matte Setting Powder
I’ve used this for about a year, and coupled with good staying foundation, is an absolute dream!
Collection Blusher – Bashful
An old faithful – I like it, it works, it’s affordable, so yay!
Loreal True Match Highlighter
Again, it’s been in my makeup bag for years, and is a dream on my fairer skin
Collection Fast Stroke Eyeliner
I’m rubbish with eyeliner, so I stuck with my old trusty liquid Collection 2000.
Ardell Demi Wispies
I’ve used lashes for years when I’ve been on stage, but I’ve never needed a natural lash before. After umming and ahhing for ages, an MUA friend recommended Demi Wispies, which she uses on her brides. I invested and immediately fell in love! They’ve got enough volume to make a difference, but are still nice and natural. Highly recommend these – thankyou Tors! 😘
Bourjois Volume Reveal Waterproof Mascara
100% you need waterproof on your wedding day! I’ve used the same mascara for 10 years because it’s perfect and I love it, so this one was bought purely to avoid panda eyes, based on good amazon reviews. Because of the lashes, I wasn’t too fussy because you could only see the mascara in action on the lower lash.
Revolution Eyeshadow Pallet – Flawless Matte
There are so many pallets out there for us to fall in love with, but it’s something I didn’t want to spend loads on. I’ve got 2 Revolution pallets, one sparkle, one matte (I used the latter for my wedding makeup) and I wouldn’t be without them. Plenty of colours to choose from for all looks, and very affordable!
Rimmel Brow This Way
Again I’ve used this for years now, have always been happy with it…so if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it 😊 I only just started using the gel, but it’s great at keeping any little strays in place.
Rimmel Exaggerate Lip Liner – Eastend Snob
An old favourite, good old Rimmel! It’s a twist up, which I’ve found recently to be more sharp and accurate than pencil liners. I used pink but have it in a couple of other colours too.
Charlotte Tilbury Hot Lips – Liv It Up
I struggled to find the perfect lipstick shade for MONTHS, but finally found myself on the Charlotte Tilbury website. I love than you can mock up all the lipsticks on different skin tones/hair colours online, so after a bit of playing around, opted for Hot Lips in shade ‘Liv It Up’. It was the perfect shade of pink – pink enough to be ‘look at my pretty lips’ but not too over the top. I was obsessed as soon as it arrived, it worked perfectly with the rest of my makeup and my dress, and I continue to be now as I use it in every day life!
Part of the reason for struggling to find a good lippy, was that I was looking for the perfect colour, that wasn’t matte, but most importantly, was long lasting. I gave up on this when my mother in law told me about Lipcote, the product that locks your lippy in place. After all my years of performing, I can’t believe I’d never come across it before! After a few hours it CAN become flaky, but I just went upstairs before the evening do, wiped my lips off and started again. I’m so glad I used this because it meant I could wear my PERFECT lipstick shade 😊
Smashbox Setting Spray
I didn’t even THINK about setting spray until a couple of days before, but thankfully, my mother in law had a little Smashbox tester! Hooray for Smashbox!
I’m so glad I did my own makeup. I was totally in control, I saved money, and I ended up discovering new (really good!) products that I’ve been able to add to my makeup bag! Yay! 💄
As promised, I’m back with more wedding tips/guidance! I’m calling this ‘Post Wedding Pointers’ because these are things that we did or experienced that, (having come out the other side), we’re SO GLAD we did – even if it caused a bit of stress or extra work beforehand – it was worth it! So, diving straight in:
🏃♀️ Don’t Rush Into Anything 🏃♀️
Whether you’re tired of getting nowhere with photographers or have spent 6 months looking for the perfect signage…honestly, don’t rush it just for the sake of getting it ticked off your Checklist. Whilst it may feel better in the short term, it won’t in the long term. If you have something specific in mind, keep searching, IT IS out there! And with something like your photographer, you’re going to be spending a lot of time together, and they’re capturing your big day – you need to make sure you get on and that you trust them!
💐 Don’t Feel Obliged to
Stick to Tradition 💐
There are SO many different ways of doing weddings these days, so feel free to play around with how you do things! I didn’t want to toss my bouquet, so I didn’t. You want a different line up at your top table? Do it. By the same token, if you WANT to stick to tradition, DO, don’t let yourself be bullied into something you don’t want to do.
📸 Make a ‘Must Have’
Shot List 📸
If there are specific scenery shots you want as a couple, or special moments you want to try and capture, tell your photographer! They’ll work with you to try and incorporate all your wants, including the formal family shots (if you’re having them). And flipping this coin on it’s head, have a definite unplanned photo that Sugarbird captured when Ed got even more excited about having just tied the knot 😂
🐑 Appoint a Photo Shepherd 🐑
However lovely they are, the formal photos can feel like a bit of a drag with so many combinations of people that you want to capture. Having got our pictures back, you can tell when our cheeks were starting to hurt from smiling, we had weird faces, which isn’t ideal 😂 Appoint a couple of people to organise and shepherd your family members so the process is as quick and straight forward as possible. Our Best Man and Maid of Honour were wonderful at ordering people about, and the family formals ran like a well oiled machine! Thankyou Emma and James 😊
📝 Email Itinerary to Family/Wedding Party 📝
It can be as vague or detailed as you want, but it’s good for the wedding party to know what’s going on – for their own piece of mind, but also because it’ll allow you the chance to breathe!
📧 Send Emails/FB Messages with Last Minute Requests 📧
So we had an ‘Unplugged Ceremony’ where we asked guests to store phones and cameras away, and we also asked for this for the first dance too. We wanted people to be present in the moment with us, not watching through a lens or a screen. It also meant our wedding photos came back and we could see our guests and their reactions/emotions, and not a sea of gadgets! We also didn’t want people uploading photos on the day (again, we wanted them to enjoy the day with us), and we asked they didn’t share any photos of us until our official photos came back too. We did all this via email or message (which was so easy), and everyone totally understood and respected our wishes. Thankyou lovely guests for being amazing 🙂
🎁 Designate Someone
To Collect Gifts/Cards/Decor 🎁
Whether you’re staying the night at your venue or not, you don’t want to leave anything chilling in a random room somewhere. Ask someone (maybe parents or wedding party) to collect up your gifts and cards and store them in their room. Then, you don’t have to worry, you know it’s taken care of, and you can just pick them up whenever suits you best.
👰 You Set the Tone of
Your Day 👰
If you’re stressed or fretting about something, that will radiate – your guests will be looking for something not right, or something to go wrong. Take it all in your stride, what will be will be, there’s honestly no point stressing or worrying on your big day. Have fun and enjoy, and so will they!
👗 Make Sure You’ve Packed Appropriate Clothes for the
Next Day 👗
There are going to be so many things on your list of things to take to your venue, but don’t forget the time AFTER your wedding too! Whether you’re having brunch the next day with family, want to head to the pool or spa, or are having a nice dinner with your new hubby/wifey, make sure you’ve packed appropriate clothes! As gorgeous as your dress/suit will be, wearing it down to breakfast the next day won’t be ideal 😂
💌 Make Note of
Who Got You What 💌
Opening cards and wedding gifts is honestly so special! But don’t get carried away, make sure you make a note of who got you what. Whilst you’ll probably be able to remember most (if not all) for a few days after, it’s going to be really embarrassing if you thank someone for the wrong gift! We didn’t get round to sending out our Thankyou cards until a few weeks after the wedding because of the Honeymoon, (but had opened the prezzies as soon as we were home from the venue) – had I not written it all down, we’d have been in troubleeeeee.
🏝️ Take Time Off Before
Your Honeymoon 🏝️
This might not be for everyone, but honestly, we’re SO GLAD we waited a week before going away. Your wedding day is SO exhausting, and also taking into account the fact you may have struggled to sleep for a few days before…I can’t imagine jetting straight off on honeymoon. It took us a good few days to recover and recuperate, and we’d planned a week of chilling and coupley things (like going for a meal or going on a walk, things that we struggle to find time for ordinarily). We then flew off to Madeira a week later. We were able to fully enjoy the experience, we weren’t dead on our feet, and it extended the wedding too!
Stay tuned for more wedding posts – I have some Wedding Day Tips and Things No One Tells You posts coming up – and next week, I’ll be sharing my Wedding Day Makeup!
It’s your wedding day, the biggest day of your life, you want to be FLAWLESS. Ironically, that’ll make you worry, (and coupled with the stress you’ll already have), your skin may not be as radiant as you’d like. UNLESS you take good care of it.
So many wedding articles suggest getting regular facials in the months leading up to your big day, but honestly, I didn’t have the money or the time for that. So I did some research, coupled some products I already used with some new ones, and did it myself! I’ve definitely noticed a difference in my skin (I still get the occasional stress spot, but I don’t think I’ll ever avoid them), and because I organised it myself, I can easily continue my wedding skin prep in general life!
I know skin can be a big deal (whether you’ve got a big event coming up or not), and I’ve been at a loss with my skin, and had no confidence in it, for years. So I’m writing this post in the hope it reaches and helps someone else. It’s worth mentioning that of course, we all have different skin types, and different things will work for different people – but after such positive experiences, I couldn’t not write this post.
Pink Clay Mask
We’ve seen big brands advertise these…but I couldn’t justify spending that amount of money on a face mask. I had a little look on Amazon and found this one for £15. Still a bit pricey I think, but I wanted to give it a go. And OMG it’s one of THE BEST purchases I’ve ever made, I would recommend this to anyone! Use it a couple of times a week, and very soon you’ll notice a change in your skin. My skin was softer, brighter, pores tightened, and redness cleared up. It’s an absolute DREAM.
Clear Start Toner
I’ve used this for a couple of years, but still stand by it. It reduced the amount of spots I got from the first time I used it, and it will always be in my bathroom cupboard.
Clear Start Emergency Spot Fix
Good for when you feel a pesky spot brewing. It’ll only work if it’s the start of a spot, not if it’s already there. And in my experience, it hasn’t stopped the spot coming, but when it HAS come through it’s been much smaller and disappeared quicker than usual.
TCM Scar and Acne Gel
My miracle purchase! I saw this advertised on Facebook, and with spot scars on my face, thought it was worth a try. YES YES YES! It works! I mentioned bio oil for the same job in a previous post, but this stuff is so much better! Noticeable results in only a few days, I’ll never be without this now!
Garnier Anti-Blemish Moisturiser
Recommended by a fellow blogger (I’m so sorry I can’t remember who it was!). It smells amazing, makes me skin feel super smooth, and when ‘spot reducing’ moisturisers in the past have actually caused more problems than they’ve helped, I’ve been pleasantly surprised that this seems to have worked.
Biore Charcoal Cleanser
I’ve used this for a while, and still love it. It’s really helped my blackheads and the menthol leaves my skin feeling tingly fresh.
St Ives Apricot Scrub
This is what I use when I’ve got dry skin (so was perfect for the couple of colder months in the run up to the wedding)! It’s the only scrub I’ve found to work properly, and scrub away all that dry skin – it’s like sand mixed with moisturiser. I’ve used it since I was at school, so I think that’s proof of how much I like it!
Loreal Milk Cleanser
I started using this last summer to remove makeup when I realised my skin care routine could be better. Unlike wipes, they get ALL the rubbish off your face. I even use them on none makeup days, coz they get rid of dirt that’s made it’s way to your face, dirt you didn’t even know was there! I’ve seen a noticable change in my skin since using this to cleanse my face.
I’ve been a bit of a cheerleader for a few products there, but I’m just being honest following my experiences with them. As I’ve said, skin is a big thing, and I know so many of us struggle with it for so many reasons. Even if this helps just one person out there, my job is done 😊
Planning your wedding is life encompassing. (As well as there being so much to do), I think it’s because despite the months and months of energy that goes into it, you’re never finished. There’s always something else to do, something else to plan – you manage to get one thing ticked off your checklist and there’s ALWAYS going to be something else that needs your attention, right up until the wedding is over! You’re planning the most magical day of your life and you want it to be absolutely perfect – so naturally, it’s stressful too.
I wrote a planning tips post before our wedding, but I needed to add some more – so here I am! You can check out Wedding Planning Tips Part I here.
There are so many wedding tips out there, but based on my experience, these are the biggest and most important ones that I felt needed sharing.
1. Write a checklist
There are honestly more things involved with planning a wedding than you think – I had no idea until I made our list, which I still kept adding to up to a week before the wedding! There’s no point trying to remember it all, so get it written down, and tick things off as and when they’re sorted (this’ll make you feel happy too!). Although not everything is on there (for example, I didn’t need to state obvious facts like ‘Mum take dress to venue’ or ‘have favours delivered’) you can see My Checklist Here.
2. Keep track of your spending
Firstly, you need to decide on your budget, a point I included in Part I. Once you have, stick to it and keep track of what you’re spending. Not gonna lie, it’s easier said than done, especially when you start getting magpied (yep, I’m turning that into a verb!) by gorgeous venues/decor/stationery/accessories (I’ve got a post about Things You Don’t Need But Want). I made a spreadsheet of all our expenditures as and when they got booked. It lists the vendor and/or product, the total amount, deposit amount, remaining balance, and a tick box for when the full payment had been made. And I’m so glad I did – it was quite sobering to write it all down and realise how quickly it was adding up!
3. Make a priority list
Linked to the point above, I think it’s important to sit down with your fiance and decide which elements of the wedding you want to throw money at, and where you want to save. Some may want to splurge on the venue, some may want to save. Some may want to splurge on the decor, some may want to save. And this applies to every single thing you’ll organise, because there are so many options for every aspect of a wedding. We’re all different, all our ‘dream wedding’s are different, so make your own list. And an easy way of saving some pennies if your budget’s starting to weep…
4. …chop the Guest List
Ruthless, but it feels less so when you’re faced with a long list of names, each of which costing you a gazillion pounds per head.
5. Invite who, and do what YOU want
I can’t stress enough, that you must remember this is YOUR day, and no one else’s. (Weddings work very differently now to 30 years ago, which some people may not realise – it may be worth just getting them, and yourself, clued in to these changes so there’s no confusion/unintentional ill feelings). YOU are the ones in charge, not anyone else, so don’t feel bullied into anything. And I only stress this so strongly, because after talking to other brides, this seems to be the biggest problem in 21st Century Wedding Planning, and the area that causes the most upset.
6. Make a list of questions before meetings
Whoever you’re meeting with, whether it’s your wedding coordinator, favour vendor, dress seamstress (the list is endless), make a list of all the questions you want to ask – the ones you’ll want to know the answers to before signing on the dotted line. I’ve got lists of questions for your venue, photographer, and baker if you’re curious.
7. Don’t be afraid of buying/booking early
In fact, the sooner the better! Particularly with bigger things like your venue and photographer which can get booked up years in advance – get booking to avoid disappointment! With all the craziness of moving house, and then life and work getting hectic, I’m so glad that I cracked on with a lot of things, despite worrying that I was doing it too soon. It meant a lot less stress later on, and trust me, you’ll want to have as little of that as possible close to the big day – there’ll be plenty of other things to be worrying about!
8. Ask for help when you need it
During the planning, the truth is, you and/or your fiance may feel like you want to tell everyone to back off and let you get on with planning your day by yourselves. But there will be plenty of family and friends offering their help, because it’s exciting for them too, and there will be occasions (however stubborn you are, or happy you are to be in control), that you WILL need that help. Take them up on their offer. Then it’s up to you how much instruction you give (depending on how much control you want to hand over/hang on to)! Just saying it as it kids. No planning articles tell you the truth about these things.
9. Write a separate checklist for your the wedding party of who’s doing what
From who’s attending what appointments, to who’s in charge of taking what to the venue, it’s not only peace of mind for you to have a note of this, but the family will feel happy to be kept in the loop, and clued in with what is/isn’t required of them.
Last, and most importantly…
10. Work as a team with your fiance
I’ve spoken about how much of a stressful time it can be – mainly because that’s the bit no one tells you! But it will also be the most wonderful. It’s such a special time, and for me, it was made even more special by Ed and I doing a lot of it together – I have so many fond memories that I’ll cherish for the rest of my life. Make time for each other, share the work load, and enjoy every minute.
There are plenty more tips I can give, but these are my top 10 based on our experience. Not enough? Stay tuned, I’ve got a ‘Post Wedding Pointers’ post coming to you soon!
Wow, it’s been such a long time since I last posted on the blog! I’m sure you know why (and if you don’t, you can guess by the content of this post)…WE GOT MARRIED! Welcome back/hi lovely readers. After THE MOST INCREDIBLE DAY OF OUR LIVES last month, our photos came back earlier this week. Sugarbird managed to capture our day perfectly, and we’re over the moon with every single photo!
Whether it’s a cliche to say or not, it really was the most magical day of our lives, and we’re so incredibly grateful to every single person who celebrated with us or sent messages of congrats and well wishes – the love we’ve experienced in the last month is extraordinary and we feel so lucky. I could waffle on for multiple paragraphs about how out of this world the whole experience has been, but that’s not why you’re here…you’re here for a photographic timeline of the day! So here we go:
7:00am – Alarm (may or may not have already been awake)
7:30am – Bridesmaids arrive, bridal party start getting ready
8:00am – Groom gets ready
9:00am – Sugarbird arrives and starts snapping away
9:30am – Flowers arrive
10:00am – Groomsmen are ready and preparing to meet guests
10:15am – Guests start to arrive
10:20am – Last minute hair tidying
10:30am – The dress goes on
10:40am – Dad arrives in Bridal Suite
10:50am – Guests seated, Groom trying to remain as calm as possible
10:59am – Show time
11:00am – Ceremony
11:30am – Mr & Mrs
11:40am – Slip away from guests for ‘us’ time
11:50am – Return to drinks reception and mingle
12:00pm – Confetti and formal photos outside
12:20pm – Get the bloomin’ sixpence out of the shoe, because after 2 hours, it hurts
12:25pm – Couple shots
12:40pm – Breathe. The adrenalin’s wearing off and exhaustion setting in…
1:00pm – Second wind! Call in to wedding breakfast
1:15pm – Speeches
1:45pm – Food!
3:45pm – Quiz
5:00pm – The Great Bishy Bake Off
5:45pm – Guests mingle, photo time for us
7:00pm – Evening guests arrive
7:30pm – Cut cake
7:35pm – First dance
7:40pm – Parent’s dance
7:45pm – Buffet, sweet cart, PARTY!
8:30pm – Outside for sunset shots and a walk around the grounds together
10:00pm – Sparklers and Fireworks
10:30pm – Hot dogs and more dancing!
12:00am – Home time. Thankyou to everyone who shared in our special day ❤️
Welcome back to another ‘Questions To Ask’ post – this time, we’re talking CAKE! 🍰 And before I go any further, full photo credit in this post goes to Blossom Tree Cake Company.
We found our baker through a flyer we picked up at a wedding fayre at The Pavilions of Harrogate last year, and after browsing their social media and LOVING the look of the cakes they did, got in touch with Blossom Tree Cake Company. They not only offer a friendly consultation, but a chance to try up to 3 different flavours (which you pay for, but that gets deducted from the price of your cake).
Well, WOW, we will never forget our experience! It was a warm bank holiday at the beginning of May last year (the same bank holiday that our wedding’s on this year!), were greeted warmly, and offered drinks as we looked through their portfolio (which is GORGEOUS), before trying our 3 gluten free tasters and discussing the design of our cake. I’m not going to go into any more detail than that for now (but probably will AFTER the wedding!), but I have nothing but positive things to say about the experience!
SO, the part you’re here for, the questions to ask:
- How long have you been in business?
- What is your baking background?
- How many weddings have you baked for?
- Are you licensed and insured?
- Do you offer gluten free cakes?
- Do you use fondant or buttercream?
- What flavours are your specialities?
- How far in advance will our cake be made?
- This is our theme – what design/decorations do you have/can you suggest?
- Can we freeze a tier, and if so, what’s your advice for keeping/defrosting/eating etc.
- …and can you provide a cake box so we can transport it home safely?
- Do you deliver to our venue? If so, what’s the charge?
- How much is the deposit?
- When do you require the full payment?
- When will we receive a contract?
And as with Questions To Ask: Your Venue, and Questions To Ask: Your Photographer, there’ll be some questions that I (and you) don’t need to add to your list (eg. about flavours), because there’ll be basic information readily available on their website, or about cake stands and knives, which you’ll already know about through your venue.
I’m SO EXCITED TO SEE AND EAT THIS CAKE, YOU HAVE NO IDEA!!!